Our lives plunge forward through hills of fear and loneliness and through great valleys of joy. There is hardship, and suffering and sadness and then there is Sofie, outside playing on the neighbor’s new swingset, cries of joy emanating from her as she watches Magnus climb up little toy ropes.
I wrote this a few weeks ago, when the see-saw of my life was down in the mud; so funny the way things swing back around. I am really and truly enjoying my life in June 2011, able to see much more clearly than I can ever remember in my adult life. For me it took a decision to stop innoculating myself with herbal remedies to make me feel this good. That and making working out at the gym a regular and unstoppable event. Pumping in those endorphins and not pushing so much away with smoke has created a new vibrancy, and a new appreciation in me for the people around me.
I love all of the people who still enjoy the benefits of the herb and will never condemn them nor feel anything but love. It’s their path. It’s taken me a long, long time to feel that I’m able to accept whatever anyone says and does as their problem, not mine, and I have lost my desire to counsel, admonish, or provide career advice to anyone except those who ask for it.
I’m sure that there will be times when I deviate, but I hope to keep to my course. But most of all I hope to keep my heart open to hearing what people around me have to offer, and letting in the light, preaching to the choir, and living life to the very fullest.